Lesson Learned

I set out with some of the best intentions known to man. I really did.

However, it just wasn’t enough. Recently, I discovered or should I say, delusioned my self into discovering social media. I’m not sure what I expected, the days of the old were beckoning me calling out to me trying to get me to return I suppose. I was longing for that dot com bubble that everyone was so happy in. I guess I never realized it at the time, but the internet was a terrible nightmare for some people. There were issues that were caused that would normally never have arisen. All types of dangers lurked in the wait, they still do. Social media is filled with stalkers, strangers, and weirdos who are looking for whatever you have and they will take it from you. I recently was approached or should I say cyber mugged. No longer do they try to fleece you out of your money in a romantic sneaky jesture. Now, they simply will ask you for your bank account and threaten to kill you. The internet has become so commonplace and so big, that it now incorporates all aspects of life, not merely the ones we wish to show the world.

No longer can you pick and choose what type of image you want to portray. It’s no longer seen as a style you wish to reflect, but seen as an extension of your very existance. More and more people, however, are starting to realize that this is not something they can get behind. It’s not how we want to live moving forward. It’s so hard to determine your target audience, how a new person would read your status update, or how you would sound to a friend who knew you well. It’s forcing everyone to self-edit, self-censor, and self-govern. While this is a great thing, it’s not something I would want to do moving forward with my life day in and day out. It seems exausting… not only tiring, but obsessive. I understand some people may choose to live that way and I have nothing against that. That’s something I’d like to make clear. I just personally do not think I’ll be able to conciously and accurately keep up with the way I appear to others. It just feels like the whole point is to quantify vanity.

I tried to start a business. Yes, again. No expertise, nothing but a working website and tons of product. It was an amazing website, fully functional. Unfortunately there were some licensing restriction issues I can see becoming a problem and I just wasn’t prepared to take a risk. Times are exceptionally tough. During a reconfiguration from past events, things are always changing. This is challenging for stability which is what most people with families are after. Entering a market with a hope and a prayer during a turmoultuous event is not only insane, its breath takingly stupid. It was a good exercise that cost me a small fortune, and a lot more than just money but in the process I gained insight so valuable it gave me confidence to take on the world! Yes, pure html was not only a dream for me, it was a living breathing process that endured even the most toughest scrutiny. I value the lessons I learned, I value those more than the money it took to learn them.

Sometimes in life we go through and we wonder what it would have been like if we had tried something. I will not have that issue moving forward because I tried it and realized life’s a bit more complex. What it really means to move through in this world. Making meaningful decisions that are consequential to the rest of my existence, not just the rest of my life. It would be nice, but I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my true ambitions for something that’s simply, “nice”.

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